Collapsed

When everyone celebrated this wonderful holiday,
I stayed in my room, staring at the ceiling above me.

The water had been leaking few days ago,
and it became worse during this Christmas night.
From dipping till showering was just an hour of time.
And finally, the ceiling collapsed.

I called the emergency services number since it was a holy Christmas night.
The maintenance guy came,
and we knew there’s nothing much he could do about it.
I have to wait until Mon or Wed before they call the contractor to replace the whole ceiling.
Everything in living room has to be moved out.
So, I lose my room,
a few weeks before I leaves for good.

I’m grateful for my friend who is willing to offer their help to me,
although I really hate to bother people like that.
Perhaps, I am used to settle things alone already.
At the same time, I also realized that no one can offer the help I need,
since everyone believe that I can somehow handle it based on my character.

Glad to have these helpful friends,
but in the end I will still be the one who has to deal with all these problems.
Either this issue or the fact that I am going back has my heart shaken once in a while.
From this point onward, I have to face a lot more obstacles,
receive a lot more criticisms,
meet a lot more people who dislikes or likes me;
Even if it is tough,
I’ll fulfill my desire with my best;
Even if it is painful,
I’ll erase the wound;
Even if I am alone,
I’ll move on.
But deep in my heart,
maybe I’ll still think “isn’t it fine to rely on someone once in a while?”

Telling myself like that, encouraging myself faithfully…I fall asleep…